'Point Of Poise' may be
healthy or unhealthy!


"We must free ourselves of the hope that the sea will ever rest. We must learn to sail in high winds."

Aristotle Onassis

The Process of Change .......
                                    Under construction!

Written By Susan Stubbings
We are all under construction ... we are forever changing ... no human is really in a fixed state although we all feel stuck, still or frozen from time to time.   'As if' life is static or we get in a rut of the same old patterns which keep us somewhere under the rainbow.  Sometimes a good thing if all is well in our individual world and we are choosing to be still mindfully and life is flowing calmly, happily and peace reins.   

This static 'feeling' is our Point of Poise, our stability where we sit balanced within our core self, however our point of poise may although it sounds healthy may well be unhealthy, we may be sat in our ‘comfort zone’ not wanting to move.  Better the devil you know than the one you don’t! 

We all have a resting point, our comfort zone is our pattern of what feels comfortable, our familiar feelings, our routine.  Our ‘normal’ and our habits and the place where we know our self the best, what we will accept and not accept, our beliefs, values, desires want and needs.  Our comfort zone is the place we sit without question!

Sat in our safe harbor we may be free from, or numbed out from our pain, if we think about doing something new those familiar feelings of angst appear our stomach is filled with butterflies, we might begin to sweat and furrow our brow our mouth might become dry and swallowing is more difficult, some may even feel nauseous or on the verge of a panic.  This was all from a thought about taking some new action!

A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for!

Negative feelings, being in a rut, being stuck, numbed out, overwhelmed or frozen is a signal its time to make some changes.  Change which is long lasting is taken one step at a time, first you have to build a boat, your ship will take time before its ready to weather the sea.  Some days you will forge ahead and others you will rest and take stock, remember what ever had you moored up took some time for you to arrive there and so it figures that it will take some time to heal and set sail on calm waters.

Like ships the Humanists Carl Roger, Abraham Maslow and Carl Jung believe humans are not meant to be static we are meant to drive ourselves to Individuation (Jung) or Self-actualization (Rogers/Maslow).  What this means is we have a compass for the potential within us to become all that we are capable of becoming, self-fulfilling, separate yet interacting people, interdependent and intradependent; that is a person who is self-sufficient whilst at the same time able to ask for support when needed.  We can achieve our fullest potential though creativity, spontaneity, independence and fulfilling our own needs, problem solving.  Practices such as Meditation, self-discovery and self-analysis. We can separate fact from fiction and eliminate prejudice once we are rowing our boats towards our fullest potential.   All for one and one for all!

The Transtheoretical Model (Prochaska & DiClemente, 1983; Prochaska, DiClemente, & Norcross, 1992) is an integrative, biopsychosocial model to conceptualize the process of intentional behavior change.

It looks something like this:
Cycle of Change - Susan Stbbings
The process of change can be difficult and there is no point in changing for the sake of change!  When our comfort zone is not healthy we need to take action, but we need to balance action with in-action and rest to remain safe!  Change is a process it won’t and can’t happen overnight, the ship travels from one shore to another and in-between the weather may have changed several times from calm too blustery too turbulent back too calm too choppy too stormy, too variable until it reaches the far off shore safely too rest before setting sail again.  Our healing journey parallels the ships travels.

If your coping strategies are unhealthy and limiting your experience by 'leaking' out in life limiting ways for example denying, ignoring, justifying, entitlement, alcohol misuse, eating disorders, yo yo dieting, gambling, shopaholic getting into debt, OCD, depression, anxiety, bipolar, dissociation, repeating unhealthy behavioural patterns, relationship problems etc etc than the change model can offer structure to your healing process. 

Contact me today for experienced, compassionate & caring support on your healing journey together we can make a difference
Susan Stubbings Doncaster