Doncaster Counsellor Susan Stubbings
The good news is the affects of trauma
can be healed
with effort,
nurturing and
Along with

Carpe Diem

Contact me
to gain
compassionate understanding
and skilled support


Written By Susan Stubbings
Trauma - refers to life events which when experienced are emotionally, psychologically, physically and/or spiritually overwhelming.  Trauma deeply distresses, wounds and injures to the point of disruption disturbing and overwhelming our equilibrium and provokes high anxieties which are extremely difficult to handle in the immediacy of the experience. 

Trauma shocks and rocks the whole safety and security of the Personage of the Human Being and the normal functioning of that person. This is  because the event/s are outside our normal expectations of our living, and/or what our mental, cognitive or physical development can handle; trauma has long lasting affects!  Torture, being enslaved, victim of terrorism any threat to life or limb for example victim of terrorism, fleeing war zones, human trafficking, pedophile rings for example.  Being part of any of these experiences is likely to cause major issues for the experiencer and will cause someone to be traumatized.  Some trauma are easily identified such as mentioned above there are other trauma and traumatization from subtler experiences as identified below. 

Having experienced such an event in your life may lead to further dynamics which may add to the effects of experiencing a trauma which could include on-going problems for example relationship issues, your self-esteem may be shaken and your confidence in yourself may be rocked, high anxiety states may result and you may also find yourself suffering with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) or complex post-traumatic stress (CPTSD).  

Trauma Susan Stubbings
Each of the individual trauma brings with it a set of  complex symptoms and the way we choose to support ourselves known as coping strategies will all have an affect on how we behave and interact with others and the world we live in.  We will have individual and unique concerns and anxieties because trauma is a devastating experience for anyone to suffer.  Trauma alters lives, the way we perceive the world, the people in our world and how we see ourselves; we change inside ourself and this change can be confusing and traumtic in itself.  

So what is normal after a traumatic exprience

We may feel any of the following and more than likely a combination of effects after the traumatic event has passed:

Disturbed sleep, lack of sleep
Acute anxiety states
Survivor guilt
Guilt, shame, rejection
Avoidance, repression,
Oppressed, helpless
Hopeless of a future
Relationship difficulties
Emotionally numb
Lacks focus, concentration

Jealousy, envious
Difficulty controlling emotions
Easily upset
Destructive behaviour i.e. self-harm
Alcohol, drug misuse
Risky behaviour extreme sports
Underlying feeling of sadness/gloom
Impending feeling of doom
Feelings of mistrust and/or betrayal
Suicidal thoughts or feelings
Physical pain and aches
Isolating self
Detached, disconnected
Re-experiencing the trauma

Easily startled, edgy, jumpy, nervous
Be unable to manage your emotions (affect dysregulation)
Disturbing emotional intensity
Difficulty with medical examinations

Negative self-concept

Irritable, moody
Anger, passive-aggressive
Withdrawn, shy,
Lack of interest in life
Developmental issues


Adults who were abused as children may find themselves re-victimized i.e. rape, domestic violent relationships, bullied in the work place or sexual harassed; this all reinforces their negative feelings they have towards their self.   BUT and it is a big but you were not to blame for the abuse you suffered as a child and further victimization is all part of the affects you have suffered and may still be suffering.  

If you are a parent of a child who is suffering the effects of any sort of abuse or trauma you may have difficulty in understanding the behaviour of your child and may put their behaviour down to being a difficult child or being a naughty child.  However, the child is trying to survive their life and the trauma they have suffered and because they are unable to be articulate about their needs it follows the parents will also have difficulty in grasping the full extent of what the child now needs; their behaviour is not personally against you so don't take it personally or to heart.  Whilst keeping your interpersonal relationship on a positive slant; trauma is chaotic so keeping your behaviour towards the child consistent will begin to help the child feel safe and secure again.   There is no quick fix following a traumatic experience compassion, kindness and being gentle with both the child and yourself will go a long way in supporting you both.  

Trauma and supporting someone who has been being traumatized is a hot potato which no one wants to keep hold of for long as such the victim uses any and every coping tactic they can to help alleviate the affects.  These may be also unhealthy and rather alleviating symptoms and affects they bring a whole host of problems in themselves for example drug, alcohol misuse, self-harming, eating disorders, extreme sports, risk taking, suicidal attempts.  If you are using such methods to allieviate your sypmptom please seek help! 

If you are a carer for someone who has suffered a trauma or using unhealthy coping strategies you don't have to 'go it alone' gaining outside support for yourself is as important as offering support to the traumatized person.  Your GP for example or a professional and experienced counsellor will support  you as you help your loved one suffering the aftershock of trauma  Contact me today and together we can find a way forward.
Susan Stubbings Doncaster